simonjadis:

callmeoutis:

secretlifeofageekygirl:

The amount of notes concerns me

i’m more concerned about the fact that this orange is still on the loose he could kill again at any time

the newspapers give this notorious killer a nickname

much to the dismay of the lead detective

(Source: loadedsword, via pleasedontletthemfindme)

Timestamp: 1411530062

peclro:

sext: my mom can pick up if your mom can drop us off

(via ryanvallejo)

kiransingh:

the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bag despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life

(via pleasedontletthemfindme)

erimikat:

Fat girls on tumblr changed my life. Thank you.

(via almostcandidbmd)

me as a parent

boytoynamedtroy:

kingdomofthebroken:

boytoynamedtroy:

my kid: whats for dinner

me: THIS FAT ASSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me: *does split on the kitchen table*

Please do not reproduce

please EAT THIS FAT ASSSS

gagallifrey:

katyhudsson:

mermaidhotel:

undeadthug:

secret-deluxe:

me:

image

you:

image

you:

image

me:

image

you:

image

me:

image

you:

image

me:

image

you: image

me: image

(Source: theotherputa, via boytoynamedtroy)

i-once-had-a-guy-tell-me:

I once had a drunk guy tell me I was too sexy to be shooting up at a party. He knocked the needle out of my hands and stepped on the pen, shattering the casing, telling me I should thank him by giving him my number and a kiss. It was my diabetes medicine.

(submitted by anonymous)

(via iexcuseyourface)

amoying:

im always suspicious of anyone that finds me attractive

(via ryanvallejo)

amywinehousedevotee:

(I Heard) Love Is Blind | Porchester Hall | 2007

(via gypsyhoox)

Timestamp: 1411444372

cosmo tip #600

expertcosmotips:

if he thinks rape jokes are funny go on a romantic boat ride with him and leave him in the middle of the fucking ocean to die

(via smilinglover)

theofficialariel:

All I have going for me is sarcasm, resting bitch face, huge thighs, and really good eyebrows. 

(via chubby-bunnies)